16 Weeks Pregnant...with TWINS!

I've had to put my own fitness journey on hold to take extra special care of the precious little babies I'm growing. Yes, you read that right, there are two babies swimming in here. How did this happen? Well of course considering I am not a single gal and my spouse is a male, too much thought doesn't have to go into that part. Where things get interesting is how we arrived at this point, pregnant with two babies.

We had been trying to get pregnant for a little over two years with no success. Our last pregnancy ended at 10 weeks and I was devastated. Fast forward to 2 years later after much consideration and research, I decided to make an appointment with an OB/GYN specializing in infertility. I went in, had some tests done, simple enough right? Wrong. It turned out I didn't ovulate. All this time I thought I just had the wrong time or not enough adult fun. My doctor put me on 50 mg of Clomid. For those that do not know, Clomid is a very common drug used to jump start ovulation. I took it as directed. A little while after the final pill, I went in for more blood tests. Sadly, my Progesterone (female hormone) was so low (3.03) that not only was I not pregnant but I hadn't even ovulated. My only recourse was to double the dosage. The thing about Clomid is you cant take it until your cycle begins so I was patiently awaiting my cycle and it was taking much longer than normal. I began experiencing severe nausea, headaches, sore gums and extreme mood swings. I asked some friends who were also trying to conceive if they experienced those symptoms after taking Clomid and they all had. I was determined to stick it out.
About 2 weeks after the symptoms started I had abdominal pain 3 nights in a row. It was so uncomfortable that I had to take some Aleeve. On a whim I decided to go and buy a home pregnancy kit. I bought it, took the test and before I could even get the cap back on it was positive.
I took another the following day and the same thing happened. I went to the doctor and had blood and urine tests done. A few days later my nurse calls me and says," Congratulations, you're definitely pregnant." I was thrilled but still cautious due to my miscarriage in the past. The next words she spoke will be etched in my mind forever. " I don't want to alarm you but your numbers were very high, high enough to be multiples, however they are also still within normal range for a singleton." My excitement turned to downright fear and confusion. She had me in the doctors office within days of that conversation. Not even a full 60 seconds in with the Ultrasound Technician and she located both my little angels. All I could do was lie there and cry. "I got my blessing, I finally got my blessing." It was one of the best moments of my life. My doctor told me that I basically defied logic. My hormones were so low that there was no way I was supposed to be pregnant let alone be pregnant with twins. I really and truly feel blessed beyond measure. I immediately shared with Steven and then with my two closest friends Becky and Juri. They were equally thrilled and excited for me. I chose to wait to share the information with my family. I told them all at 12 weeks.
I am still in shock. I'm growing very quickly, however I still don't feel like its happening to me. There are so many things to consider and so many things to buy. Steve is definitely warming up to the idea of twins, he's just hoping they aren't two girls. He thinks its very important that our son have a brother and I'm inclined to believe him. I have a doctors appointment next weeks so hopefully we will have the big reveal then!

Feeling pretty great!

A little under a week back into my routine and I have to say, I'm feeling pretty fantastic! This week has not been perfect or without some setbacks but overall I feel accomplished and happy about whats to come. A friend of mine is going to be my accountability partner for the same program which is a great help. We both have children around the same age and have similar family obligations. I know she will rock it and we will feel and look better at the end of the program.

Lorenzo stayed home today because he isn't feeling well. He has been dealing with a cold this week but starting vomiting around 3:15 this morning! He seems to be feeling better and is actually eating some food. I hope he feels better soon because we were going to do some fun things outdoors and enjoy the 3 day weekend.

Fell of the wagon...AGAIN!

So I totally fell of the wagon again. I have not been as consistent with my work outs or my diet lately and boy does my waistline show it! Not only is it embarrassing but I feel like Ive lost my edge in so many aspects of my life. I've been in a rut. Its okay to say that. I have had no desire to do anything other than eat, drink coffee and relax.

Sad? Maybe. Depressed? Probably. Fed up? DEFINITELY!

I have created this problem, this situation that I'm currently in. I can blame no one for my lack of motivation. Well, watching the Avengers and Jake and the Neverland Pirates with Lorenzo is a lot more fun however none of that will make me healthy. I have to stop making excuses. I had tremendous success with P90x and Turbo Fire to the tune of 60lb weight loss!

So what needs to change?

I am pledging, today, that I will prepare my meals for the next week on Sunday.

I will write out my work out schedule this evening.

I will work out tomorrow morning.

I will use the fancy pink leather bound planner I bought to actually schedule things and get my life back in order.

I will update my blog EVERYDAY whether it was a good or bad day for accountability.

I'm doing the work to get to the person that I need to be. Are you willing to do the work?

Insanity - Take 2

I'm pretty excited that I made it through month 1 of Insanity but I dont really feel like I did my best and I took a trip to Vegas and drank and ate lots of filet mignon and too many desserts. So, I think that the best thing for me to do is to repeat month 1 of Insanity and step my nutrition up and really go hard.

My clients are doing extremely well on their journeys. I am so completely and totally blessed to be a part of their lives. Weight loss, muscle gain...it doesnt matter, I feel like a mama watching my kids graduate. I'm so proud of them!

Insanity - Week 2

Im super thrilled right now because I made it to week two of Insanity. The first time I attempted this program I only made it to day 5. I am so determined to reach my size 4 goal after 2 rounds of Insanity. IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN! Im working harder than I ever have and its paying off already. If you want to shed some pounds quickly, Insanity + Shakeology is the way to go!

Super Sore

This is day 4 of Insanity and I am pretty sore. I am extremely determined to complete the program and go longer than a week which I think is around how long I went last time. Yes, its very intense. Not so much difficult, just intense because its so fast and repetitive. Picture being a football or basketball player and doing drills to make you jump higher and move faster...that's basically Insanity!

I will do two rounds which means 120 days and finish right before Beach Body Summit which is perfect. So far so good!

Shaun T are you F'n kidding me?

So I decided to start Insanity again and hopefully make it passed the first week. Well day 2 and man even after losing so much weight Shaun T has a way of reminding me that I still have a very, very long way to go.

I'm doing a crazy ass hybrid of Insanity, Hip Hop Abs and Brazil Butt Lift. The last time I did an insane hybrid I had really great results and with Summit around the corner I have to "Do Work."

Tomorrow is a new day and I am actually looking forward to it. I'm still in a size 10 and every morning I wake up to see a pair of size 6 jeans hanging on the closet door...motivation. My hope is that I am in a size 6 in two months and then a 4 two months after that. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. Wish me luck!

Im Back!

So I took a super long break from blogging...totally unplanned but now I'm back. Just to recap how I spent that break. After my miscarriage, I went into a depression and stopped working out and taking care of myself. Just as I got myself back in the game, my gallstones became a major problem. The pain was so severe that I went to the emergency room the day after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I must have been interrupting their weekend plans because they gave me some strong pain killers in an IV, wrote me a prescription for pain killers and sent me home. Over the next few days the pain increased substantially and my eyes and skin yellowed. I went to my doctor who told me she would submit a request for me to see a internist and it would take about 2 weeks. Then she went on to tell me my blood and urine tests were normal. What she seemed to have overlooked was the fact that I hadn't had any blood drawn and the urine sample I submitted was brown...yes that's right, BROWN. So I said, "excuse me that cant be right, my urine is brown so there is no way that's normal." She stepped out of the room and came back after 5 minutes or so and said the urine was too dark to be tested. RED FLAG! Hello...maybe this is serious. Anyway, her parting words were that I should go to the hospital if I am in pain.

I was furious. So I left the doctors office and went home to relax which is no easy feat when you have a toddler. The next morning I was in so much pain, hadn't eaten in days and could barely stand up straight. I drove myself to the emergency room. The minute I arrived the nurse asked me if my skin was normally that yellow and I said no. She told me I looked very ill and she was concerned. Finally, someone was listening to me. Someone gave a shit whether I lived or died. Gave another urine sample and agonized through the 8 or 9 attempts to get an IV in just to have one put in my wrist...the under side (OUCH). The doctor saw the black urine by that time and admitted me to the hospital immediately. The ultrasound revealed that my bile duct was blocked. This led to my jaundice which was extreme by that time. I was far more sick than I thought. The first surgery I had was to remove the stones and clear the bile duct. That was a success. It was super weird during the prep because you are on your stomach and there is a tube in your mouth and you cant close your mouth or swallow...very unpleasant. The second surgery was the biggie. My gallbladder was removed the following day and I was terrified. I had never had a major surgery like that. So 4 incisions were made in my stomach and then I was puffed with air to make space in my abdominal cavity. Gallbladder removed! After care was hard. I couldn't move very well and I was in a lot of pain. I spent 4 days in the hospital healing. My red blood cell count was decreasing and I was close to having a blood transfusion but luckily the numbers stabilized and started to increase.

The morning I was to be released Steve dropped Lorenzo off with his sister. He then came and picked me up. What we didn't know is that while Lorenzo was with his aunt he was hit repeatedly. Steve picked Lorenzo up and brought him home. When I changed his diaper I saw that his entire buttocks and thighs were purple. I was completely beside myself. I screamed and cried for several minutes. We took Lorenzo to the emergency room to be examined and ensure there was no internal damage. The police came out and took pictures of him. The person who hit him was arrested.

Thankfully, Lorenzo did not have any signs of internal damage. I had so much fear and rage and it was just a really, really difficult time for my family. Lorenzo would not let me out of his sight for weeks. He woke up screaming night after night. As a mother my heart was breaking because I didn't know how to help my son. I was truly helpless.

All ties have been severed with Steve's sister.

Lorenzo's bruising eventually went away and hopefully he doesn't remember what happened to him. The person who hurt him was sentenced to an extremely short time due to jail overcrowding but he is to attend anger management classes for a year and there is a perpetual order of protection against him. So that's how my year ended.

I vowed that 2012 would be a great year and so far it is. I'm back on my program and I'm preparing Lorenzo for daycare/preschool. I'm incredibly nervous but I trust the staff and I know that they will take great care of my baby. He starts on Monday so it will be very interesting to see how it goes!

Wow, time is flying

So recently I started questioning a few things in my life. Whether or not I wanted to move back down to Orange County, what career goal would I set for myself and when will I have more kids. These issues may seem small to some but they completely consumed my thoughts. Not knowing the answers sent me into a depression and things kind of went from bad to worse.

I was thrilled with my major weight loss, so thrilled that I started slacking. My 60 pound weight loss started to disappear. I started Insanity the first week of August and could barely make it through the workouts without feeling sick, light headed and getting a headache. About a week into that I decided to take a pregnancy test and wouldn't you know it, I was pregnant. This news was met with mixed feelings. Although I definitely view a child as a blessing, I also had big fitness goals and a certain time frame to execute my plan. Went to the doctor to confirm. Stopped working out and eating right. The pounds were packing on like crazy! There was another problem. This pregnancy made me feel completely different than my other one. I was exhausted all the time, my body ached and I had migraines. I read enough to know that every pregnancy was different but these symptoms were unbearable.

As the weeks went by I started having severe cramps and spotting  which turned to heavy bleeding. I think I knew in my heart that this wasn't going to turn out well. I had bleeding with my first pregnancy but it lasted a short time and wasn't accompanied by cramps. Things came to a head on a Friday night. I had the most extreme pain I had ever experienced. Terrible migraine, upset stomach and lower back pain that actually felt like labor. Even with all this, I still didn't want to go to the hospital. I went to the doctor 4 days later and found out that the pregnancy had ended. I was devastated. I cried in the exam room because the doctor put his hand on my shoulder and told me everything would be okay and that there was no reason I couldn't go on to have a healthy baby in the future. He was giving me good news so to speak however I couldn't get passed the fact that I no longer had a baby growing inside me.

The level of emptiness you feel after something like that is indescribable. I waited until I got to the car to call Steve and I broke down in tears. I just kept looking at Lorenzo feeling so bad that he wasn't going to have a baby brother or sister 7 months from then. I had already chosen bedding, room decor, clothes, supplies, stroller and car seat...baby shower decorations-you name it, I chose it. I registered on gift registries and signed up for weekly newsletters. I went all out and to find out that I was no longer pregnant was more than I could handle.

I spent days sitting and crying. I wanted to curl up in bed and sleep but I have Lorenzo and he deserved a mommy that was there for him. I picked myself up and moved out to the couch! HAHAHA. The poor diet went into full swing. During the 8 weeks I was pregnant I gained 12 pounds. The month following that, I gained another 10 pounds. I was mortified when I got on the scale. I had worked so hard to lose weight and here I was gaining it like there was no tomorrow. The doctor told me to rest for 4 weeks ad also to wait 4-5 months before trying to have a baby...which was perfect. I told myself, "OK, lets say 5 months to get in the best shape of my life, then when we try to get pregnant I will be completely healthy." So that's what I am doing. I am in week two of P90x. I am on a mission to have a lean, sexy,fit body and I will. I have too much at stake to give up.

Being so determined and dedicated to my work outs is helping figure things out. I know that as much as I miss my family and have reconnected with old friends that I would like to spend time with, my family needs to stay here. We are doing well, very well and I need to ride this thing out. Living up here allows me to be home taking care of my son and that's how I like it. As far as school goes, I have decided that I am still best suited to help people with problems so I will continue with my social work classes. If I become inspired but something else, it will have to wait.

Lazy Ass

I have been the biggest lazy ass lately. I was "hormonal" this week so I didnt want to do much of anything, and I didnt. I worked out a few days this week, gained weight and feel like a slouch. I worked out hard yesterday and today and am terribly sore, however its totally worth it. I am going to start a Shakeology cleanse on Monday only I am going to try to do it 5 days instead of 3. We shall see how it goes!

The Insanity begins Monday!

Im starting Insanity on Monday and boy am I scared! I know it will be intense and hard but I am no stranger to either of those. After all, I made it through P90x and Turbo Fire. I have tried Insanity before so its not completely foreign to me but I know its what I need to do to get 30 lbs off in two months!

We are heading down to Arcadia for a company bbq. Im not the least bit stressed about either. I know that I can eat, minus the bbq sauce and I will be fine. I dont plan to take my work out clothes because I wont be working out. We will only be down there one night and I want to enjoy it.

This week was full of struggles though. I finally lost the weight I gained in Utah so that was great but then it was like my eating fell apart. I wasnt eating bad...I was barely eating at all. Im not sure how or why this happened but it did. I have spent weeks making my body a fat burning machine and I did some real damage this week. I guess its that much more important that I start Insanity on Monday. It's time to take care of business and KICK FATS ASS!

Utah was AWESOME!

We just got home from Utah and I have to say we had the best time. We went there for a wedding and to spend time with friends and it was a lot of fun. What's not so fun is the realization that I haven't worked out since Thursday and I gained 3 lbs over the weekend. YUCK! Let me recap my weekend for you.

Thursday night we left our house at about 11pm so we got to socal around 2am. We dropped off my stepdaughter and then drove to Buena Park to drop off Lorenzo. We arrive there around 3 only to realize we forgot his suitcase. I considered staying behind and just going back home and letting Steve go alone but my mom assured me she would take care of it. So we were off! Once we left it was about 3:30 am and we were STARVING. The only thing open at the time was jack in the box. Yes, yes, I know, not the best option but it was the only option. I could have ordered a salad or something but instead I ordered a chicken pita, fries and soda! Shameful right? I don't even know how the words came out of my mouth. I haven't had fast food in ages and I really thought I kicked the habit but apparently I have not. I ate the pita and drank the diet coke. I let the fries get cold purposely so I wouldn't eat them. I ate a few and that was it. We arrived at the hotel at 4am only to rest for an hour and get up to get ready for our 7:50 flight. I grabbed a turkey, bacon and cheese wrap and a coffee for breakfast. It was downhill after that. Chicken philly at the mall, followed by filet mignon with a blue cheese and panco crust...and cocktails. Breakfast the next morning was a buffet. DANGER! DANGER! I made sure to order my egg white omelet and eat that first. I ate bacon, french toast (no butter or syrup) and a danish. After than I had some snacks: almonds, chips fruit. Dinner was another filet and crab cake in a nice bernaise sauce with augratin potatoes, broccoli, sweet potatoes and cheesecake for dessert. Oh and more cocktails. I ate so much food but I have to tell you I feel more guilt about not working out. I have come to look forward to working out. I don't like it but I know its necessary. I am a foodie and always will be but I know that I can not lose control like this ever again.

This weekend we are going back down to socal for the weekend. I will not allow myself to be lazy for slack on my eating plan. These 30 lbs have to come off by October 1 and that will not happen without dedication and hard work. Here goes nothing!

Wedding Season

So we are in summer wedding season! I have two weddings in the next couple weeks and a few more to come. I'm so excited! Weddings are so much fun and it gives me an excuse to get dressed up! I ordered a few dresses and to my surprise they all fit. Secretly I had hoped they would be a bit large but its okay, they fit and are not too tight.

I'm starting Insanity next week. I'm pretty excited about it. I think its going to help me get this last 30lbs off in a relatively short amount of time. I'm still trying to figure out how I can incorporate my favorite programs into some sort of schedule because I get something different from each one and I want a complete workout. Besides, I am working on my Serena Williams butt so I can not stop doing Brazil Butt Lift.

I took the kids (Lorenzo, my stepdaughter Tayler and niece Hannah) to Soak City and the Orange County Fair over the weekend and boy did they have fun. I made very bad food decisions both days but I don't regret it. I ate fun food and I enjoyed myself. I certainly didn't eat everything I wanted but I splurged a bit. I gained 6 lbs in a week! I didn't work out everyday like I normally do so we will just consider it a vacation. Now its time to get back to what took me from a size 16 to a size 10.

Flying out to Utah this weekend and then next weekend I have a bbq and then another wedding so there will be a lot of traveling and a lot of opportunities to eat bad food. I am going to dedicate myself to these programs to meet my goal of  30lbs by October 1. It's very aggressive I know but I know I can do it. I have been slacking off but no more of that. I also bought new swimsuits...which I have not even tried on because I am afraid of how they will look. I am taking some before pictures tonight since I am starting Brazil Butt Lift again tomorrow. I'm ready to bring it!

The weekend is upon us

So, I'm pretty excited that I sent out 8 shakeology samples this week. Hopefully everyone will like it and place an order. Also, I am going to work with 4 people over the next year and help them lose at least 50 lbs! I'm so stoked about this opportunity because not only will it change their lives and mine but they have the chance to win $100,000! I know right. That's totally worth working out and eating right. I'm also going to enter the contest myself to keep me motivated and accountable.

I decided today that I will start a Shakeology cleanse tomorrow. My girl Abby lost like 9 lbs doing the cleanse so hopefully I can do the same and jump start things. I am also going ultra low carbs and no dairy for 90 days. I want to see if I can zap more of this belly fat. Its a good thing that I don't really eat bread, pasta or rice so it shouldn't be that hard. The dairy part will be a struggle because I loves my cheese!
I'm just going to focus on the fact that I want to get in shape more than I love cheese!

Small town life bites

I think I'm totally getting over living in a small town. I don't know anyone and we don't do anything here but live. If have to go to another town to do all my shopping,doctors appointments...everything! I'm kind of over it. I have decided that I am going to push myself harder than ever before at building relationships and establishing my Beach Body Business. I want a new house and the only guarantee of having exactly what I want is if I buy it myself! I know that I have what it takes to be successful without a doubt. Its just a matter of stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people. Where will I meet these people? Walmart, Target, the mall, grocery store, Costco and the park. So many things to do. I need to check up on my business cards, join the chamber and figure out whether I also want to open a retail store in town, in the mall. Whatever I decide to do, I will do to my fullest capability...with a smile on my face.

I'm getting better and scheduling time for certain tasks. My to-do list doesn't seem to get shorter so I am going to revise that shortly. Typing with a toddler whining and hanging on you is pretty hard. I'm not sure what is wrong with this boy but he seriously driving me nuts. Looks like this entry will be cut short because he us having a melt down!

Summit 2011!

I know, I know, I should totally be ashamed that I havent posted in several days and havent updated my blog at all. Well I'm doing it now so please forgive me. The annual Beach Body Summit has come and gone and it was an incredible experience. I met the leaders of my team plus many, many other coaches and of course the trainers! I met Shaun T and I was seriously about to just plant one on his cheeks! He is that hot.  Anyway, I have this new fire in my belly and I am determined to make my dreams comes true. Im starting with my exterior and at the same time my self development. I have created a blueprint for myself and I am so happy to get started tomorrow!

Starting the week right

So I want to start my own fit club...definitely not here in Farmersville but in a larger town. I'm thinking I would like to start one in July or August. It's definitely needed and there isn't one that I know of. I honestly think that starting a fit club will take my business to the next level! On another note, I ate the most delicious cup cake today! It was some sort of pineapple cream cheese kind of thing and it was so tasty! I had to do an extra workout to burn those calories right off.

I'm starting a Shakeology cleanse tomorrow or rather today since it's after midnight. I love the cleanse because I love Shakeology and if I could live on just that I would! This week is going to be awesome and I am looking forward to making new friends and helping more people!

Looking and feeling great

I've been away for a few days but I'm back! I needed to regroup and make some changes. I have gotten rid of most of the clutter in my house and tightened up my work out schedule. I am working so darn hard it's not even funny. My heart is thanking me! Every workout I do is because I want to watch my son grow up and have a family of his own. I also want to have another baby next year! I'm feeling so happy and brand new. I cant remember a time in my life when I felt so light and free...I'm smiling as a type. Who knew while working on the outside, the inside would go through so many changes.

Peaceful day

I finally had a peaceful, relaxing a day. I got my workouts in and Lorenzo actually let me get it done. He only had one melt down while I was doing Fire 55 EZ so I needed the break. My house is a complete disaster and the bathroom is only half decorated. ARG! So many things to do and there just isnt enough time in the day. Do you ever feel like you have a ton of stuff to do and as you go down your to do list you never get done? I mean it's like I add more things than I check off! I am redecorating my bathroom and my son's room. The bathroom is easy because it's now navy blue and white which is perfect for summer. The problem is my sons room is his room 90% of the time. The other 10%, his sister Tayler shares the room with him. I would love to give him a really fun, toddler room but I dont want her to feel uncomfortable. Also, I feel like he will be transitioning to a toddler bed soon and be out of his crib and the design I have in mind involves his crib! Decisions, decisions. At least my workouts are coming together and I am getting through them easier. I had a little back pain today during a HIIT workout but it seems to be gone now.

We have the Memorial Day Parade here in Farmersville tomorrow so that will be nice. It's super fun and kind of cheesy but it's nice to watch. My plan for tomorrow is to get up at 7, get my cleaning done by 9 and do my Turbo Fire until 10. Then I will be free to watch the parade and enjoy the day!

Tired!!!!

I stepped my game up in preparation of Summit next month. I am doing 2-3 workouts a day and man its kickin my butt. I'm fine tuning my routine right now so hopefully I can maximize my results. I am coming along nicely though. I'm in a size 10 right now and I would be awesome if I can get into a size 8 by Summit. After that, I would like to get into a size 2 by August 1!

Steve is still working a lot so its very difficult to stay on task. I am with Lorenzo all day and all evening and I have to work out while he is sleeping or playing and not paying attention to me. It gets hard though. I'm excited at the fact that I am getting so close to my goals. Its a strange feeling to look at myself in the mirror because I still see the same size 16 girl. I have to take pictures to see that I am actually much smaller. Hopefully this will go away! I don't have body issues or anything like that I think it's just that its all happening so quickly and it's hard to wrap my brain around my new body.

I cleaned out my closet and put all my too large clothes in trash bags to be donated. I feel so free! Now my closet is completely empty. All I have are work out clothes so hopefully that translates to more business!